Break out the Mother of the Year award! Diva extraordinaire, Naomi Campbell, underwent a mysterious surgical procedure earlier this year, which apparently now allows her to have children. She’s so eager to do so in light of this new development, that she’s even considering artificial insemination to get the job done. Aware that her biological clock is nearing implosion, Campbell believes that a baby will change her for the better, and will influence a positive attitude.

She says, “Now I can have a child I would like one. I’m even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready… I know that with a baby I would change, I’d calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self.”

Oh hell no! Naomi on a good day will just claw your eyes out for correcting her. Does anyone even want to imagine what the crazy pregnancy hormones will do to her? Lock the doors, and stay in your bomb shelters for at least a year. How on earth would a baby calm the likes of Naomi Campbell down? The only thing that could calm her down is a horse tranquillizer. Okay, maybe a baby will give off some good vibes for the half hour a day when it isn’t screeching and throwing stuff (hm, like mother like child), but the other 23.5 hours will send the supermodel bouncing off the walls before she drops it off with a bunch of high-paid nannies. Please, Naomi hardly gives a slice of herself to boyfriends, I doubt she’ll give the full thing to something that just lies there and demands more than she does. Whoever the sperm donor ends up being, he better be sure he’s far, far away and Naomi doesn’t get a hold of his living address.

Drug addict, queen of tantrums, and with a healthy dose of certifiably crazy. Move over, Dina Lohan, there’s a new World’s Best Mom!

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Cheryl : A recent university graduate, Cheryl's biggest nemeses are the fashion sheep of the world. She enjoys food, soaking up whatever her native Toronto has to offer, and finding a great quirky handbag. Her only rule of fashion: you want to, so wear it.
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